On Friday evening Lily had her 1st apnoea attack. My friend had come to say goodbye, again, and Lily held her breath a little longer than she should have. She went off colour but came around quickly. It made what was about to happen very real. The end had begun. We waited all that night for another one but none came. Again she woke on Saturday bright eyed and ready to 'talk' to anyone who would listen. Everyone continued to get their fix of hugs and kisses. The crib had become redundant since Tuesday. We were joking that that was her plan all along, to be held 24 hours a day.

Saturday evening she had another apnoea attack and that was followed by more and more as the night went on. I would put her onto my chest so that everyone didn't have to see her change colour. I could also gently pat her back to remind her to breathe. The oxygen was turned up to its highest now. We decided, after saying goodbye again and crying until we were dehydrated, that if she was going to slip away she should go listening to her granddad singing her a song. He sang Bright Blue Eyes, the same song he sang at our wedding. I then sang her a song as well, willing her to go if she wanted to, as we were all her with her. At about 3am we decided it was too hard to keep watching the apnoea's so we decided to go to sleep where we were and if she went in her sleep it would be very peaceful. I lay her on my chest, in her favourite position, and lay down on the couch. The palliative care nurse promised to wake us if she passed.