Our GP rang to say she would call down at 9pm. When she arrived, 'the men' of the family had gone out to cut the lawn. Did you know it takes six men to cut one lawn! At 9.15pm Lily had a big apnoea attack. Once it hit the 10 minute mark, my GP said we should call the men in. She checked her heart and it was at 60 beats per minute. They all ran in, smelling of cut grass and sat down in silence. Lily again came around. She looked around the room, gave the doctor a little wave, to the doctor's surprise, and then slowly drifted back into her last one. The screams that her little body made every time she tried to come back will haunt me forever. I, at this stage, was willing her to just go, to just slip away. I told her it was ok to go and to watch over us always. At 10pm our GP listened to her heart. It had stopped beating.

I had been told in SCBU, 7 and a half weeks earlier, that Lily would go when I was ready. I thought it was just something the nurses say but that Sunday night I was ready. I was ready for her sake. I wanted her to not struggle any longer. I felt her body could do no more. She had surpassed all expectations and we were so proud of the fight she put in. She had given us the luxury of time.